Daily Dose: Definitely Funny

A teacher was introducing the word “Definitely” to her 3rd grade class, and asked them to use it in a sentence.

“The sky is definitely blue,” said little Sally.

“Well, it’s usually blue, but it gets gray when there’s clouds, and black at night. So, no.” the teacher corrected.

“Leaves are definitely green,” said Timmy.

“Well, normally they are, but in the fall, they change colors. So, no.”

Then little Johnny raised his hand. “Are farts lumpy?” he asked the teacher.

“Umm…no, I’m afraid they’re not, Johnny.”

“Well,” he said, “I DEFINITELY just shit my pants!”

Daily Dose: Bad judgement

We are introducing the concept of “A Dose Of Daily Disgust”. No it has nothing to do with Teenage Angst or Nihilism or Anarchy. We just want to keep bored minds agitated with good fun.
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I heard this tapping coming from the parking lot behind my building.

Upon investigation I saw this guy hitting cars with a stick! Thinking he was checking for alarm systems, I thought, that bastard touches my vehicle – he’s toast!

Sure enough the bugger hit my car too. I ran downstairs, grabbed that stupid white cane and beat him senseless with it!

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Driving down the road the other day I saw these 3 guys attempting to rob an elderly woman.

I pulled over, ran across the street to assist.

Do you know it took the 4 of of us 10 minutes to finally get that purse off the old bitch!

Daily Dose: Don’t call me…

We are introducing the concept of “A Dose Of Daily Disgust”. No it has nothing to do with Teenage Angst or Nihilism or Anarchy. We just want to keep bored minds agitated with good fun.
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What do you call a guy in the foyer with no arms or legs?
Matt

What do you call a guy in the ocean with no arms or legs?
Bob

What do you call a little leaguer with no arms or legs?
Second base

What do you call a lawyer with no arms or legs?
Trustworthy

What do you call a surgeon with no arms or legs?
A good malpractice risk

What do you call a woman with no arms or legs?
Easy

What do you call a guy in the hot tub with no arms or legs?
Stu

What do you call a guy sitting in a hole with no arms or legs?
Phil

What do you call a guy on a stage with no arms or legs?
Mike

What do you call a guy in the restroom with no arms or legs?
John

What do you call a guy sitting in front of the Louvre with no arms or legs?
Art

What do you call a guy picking a lock with no arms or legs?
Jimmy

What do you call a guy sitting on railroad tracks with no arms or legs?
Screwed

Daily Dose: True Jokes

We are introducing the concept of “A Dose Of Daily Disgust”. No it has nothing to do with Teenage Angst or Nihilism or Anarchy. We just want to keep bored minds agitated with good fun.
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True Jock Stories
It’s like this buddy of mine. We went to the gym together to work out. He strips off his outer clothes, and underneath he’s wearing bra and panties. I’m trying to be cool, but I finally have to ask, “How long you been wearing that stuff?”. He replies, “Ever since my wife found ‘em stuffed behind the seat in my pickup truck…”

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True Business News
Those industrious Japanese have found a way to make a buck on the AIDS scare. Seems they’ve come up with a way to make a car tire out of 365 used condoms. They call it a “GoodYear.”

A Dose Of Daily Disgust

Welcome Freedom Friends to our new look website. A real upgrade for your user experience and browsing pleasure.

We are introducing the concept of “A Dose Of Daily Disgust”. No it has nothing to do with Teenage Angst or Nihilism or Anarchy. We just want to keep bored minds agitated with good fun. I am planning on posting a joke everyday on the new look website as a way of keeping the page updated with something new everyday. Tell me what you guys think of it. A bit of trivia or interesting factoid or an anecdote or a really vulgar joke – just to keep you busy and occupied when you are bored as hell in front of a computer.
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Surprise Gifts

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

“Look!” she said. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.”

So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

:)