Lawrence and Molly by Frederick K Foote

Editor’s Note: This love story is told from different points of view (POV), depicting the views of the characters in the story. We hope you are able to follow it through to the end.

Lawrence and Molly by Frederick K Foote

Lawrence Ross Flowers

We were spooning in bed. I was drifting off to sleep when Molly said, “Lawrence, are you happy?”

I sleepily replied, “As a bug in a rug.”

Molly twisted away from me and turned to face me.  “No. I’m serious, are you happy with us? With me?”

These questions set my internal alarms off. I struggled to full wakefulness. “Molly, what’s wrong, Baby? Are you okay? You said your doctor gave you a clean bill of health? What’s wrong?”

“Do you regret us not having kids? You always seem to have such a good time with your nieces and nephews on both sides of the family.”

“Baby, we are almost 60 and have been together for nearly 30 years. Where is this coming from? What’s on your mind, Baby, are you okay?”

“Don’t worry, Honey, my cancer is still in remission.”

Molly traced my face with her fingertips.

I had a cold sense of dread creeping along my spine. I pulled my wife close to me. I held her tight.

Molly whispered in my ear, “Lawrence, I need some time away from us. I need to think.”

“Think? Think about what? What’s going on, Baby?”

Molly pulled away from me. “Lawrence, I’m afraid. I’m afraid the cancer will be back. I’m afraid it will take me before I ever have a chance to be me.”

I was confused and angry. “Baby, I don’t understand. We have our custom-built home here in Piedmont and our vacation homes in Malibu and Tahoe. We have great careers and good friends. We’re okay. Hell, we’re better than okay. Our net worth is a little over 20 million. We’re ahead of our 30-year plan. I mean, we could retire today if we wanted to.”

“I know. I know it’s the life we wanted and worked for, but what have we really done with our lives besides making money and acquiring things?”

“What do you mean? We give generously to charities. We always have. We helped raise your sister and my sister’s kids. I mean, there was a period of about four years where we had at least two teenagers here. We helped out your family when your dad got sick. We—”

“Lawrence, we’re Black, and we’re privileged. And we have been generous with our time and money—but—what happened to our revolutions?”

“Come on, Babe. We set goals. We achieved them. Babe, we grew up.”

There was a long pause, and Molly looked lost and perplexed.

“Baby, I hope it’s not about my thing with Kate. That was a stupid one-night stand. I—”

“Lawrence, we both have made mistakes. We—”

 “Wait! What do you mean, both?” What did you do, Molly?”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re the second most important person in my life, always. And for most of the time, you were the most important person in my life. That was my mistake. I should and will always be my most important person.”

“Okay, but what did you do, and who did you do it with?”

“Honey, I need time to think. I’m going to sleep in the guest room. I love you, Lawrence. I just need time to think. We’ll talk in the morning.”

I didn’t want to wait until the morning, but I watched Molly walk out of our bedroom. She’s 58 years old and still carries herself like a queen. She has an apple ass, a heart-shaped face, and killer, take no prisoners legs. She is my caramel-colored, smart as a whip, unbreakable partner.

I trust in her more than I do Jesus Christ and the US dollar, and she has been fucking around on me. Oh, fuck me. I bet you a dime to a dollar it was that slimy partner of hers, Keith Collins. I will fuck Keith up. That nigger got to know that.  He know I do not play like that. I’m not going to kill him, but I’m going to hurt him so bad he’ll wish he were dead. Motherfucker!

Shit! I got to get out of bed. I got to walk around. I have to think this through.

I mean, Kate—I fucked up with Kate. That was stupid. Kate and I were stupid. We both had marriages and families to lose. It was a drunken, impulse hookup. A spur-of-the-moment thing that had been building for the year we worked together. And we were good together, better than we ever imagined. We were so good together that it scared the shit out of us.

Kate took a new job on the East Coast. We don’t communicate at all—ever. But I know if I picked up the phone and talked to her just for a minute—we would, would, I don’t know what the fuck we would do.

Kate’s White and I’m Black, and that has always been a deal breaker for me. But we got our hooks in each other, and I feel them whenever I think about her. I think about her way too often.

But if I lose Molly, I lose everything. I won’t even be me. I won’t even be half a man. Kate wouldn’t want what would be left of me.

I prayed to God that whatever Molly did, it was just a for-real one-night stand—a tiny indiscretion of no significance.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

I spent the night pacing the floor and trying to watch TV.

& & &

Molly Millender-Flowers

Oh, how I despise love. Love has divorced me from me and yoked me to the plodding dreams and schemes of my husband/lover.

Lawrence was Black, brawny, boisterous, and full of wit, laughter, and action in college. He led the Black and Third World organizations on our campus. While I struggled to define what our revolution should look and feel like, especially for Black women. We hooked up for casual campus sex and recreation romps. 

Lawrence was in love. I was in lust, but he fooled me, tricked me. He trusted me. He believed in me. He believed in me more than I believed in myself. The sly dog made us equal partners. And my love for him consumed me for decades. Lawrence saw so much more of me and saw it so much clearer than anyone else. How could I not love him?

And in that love, I lost my direction. I lost myself. I was confused and disoriented as I discovered how much of myself I had lost to love. Above all else, I was angry at myself for being distracted and misused by love for most of my adult life.

I had a dalliance with Esau Rialto, a billionaire CEO of a Fortune 100 company. It took me a minute to realize I was repeating my mistake by hooking up with someone who would overwhelm my needs and senses.

I was afraid to rely on myself to become my own independent and free self. Love had crippled me.

And lovely Kate stepped into the picture and changed everything. I saw Kate and Lawrence’s attraction to each other before they did. I prayed for them to be lovers, to give me an easy way out of my marriage that was still full of disabling love.

For 12 miserable months, they tried to protect their marriages and loves and avoid their adulterous fate.

Kate and Lawrence frustrated the hell out of me, but they were so entertaining to watch playing their little games of denial, delusion, and avoidance. They were my number-one entertainment show of all time.

And one word from me to either of them would have stopped their potential romance. I enjoyed seeing love spread its corruption in someone else for a change.

They must have fucked up a storm because it scared them back into the arms of their marriage mates.

I saw in Lawrence the same fear of losing me that I had of stepping free to find myself.

It was the ideal time for me to go, but I loved Lawrence and our life.   My real fear was that there was no me left to find.

During my annual checkup, there was a false positive that indicated my cancer had returned with a vengeance. The moment I got that fake news, I knew I was through with love. And the corrected report did not change my mind in the least. In fact, it made me more determined to live whatever life I had left on my own terms.

I wished the best for Lawrence and Kate also. I still loved my husband, but I loved myself more.

I couldn’t sleep. I used my computer to make a list of my steps to freedom. I couldn’t wait for morning to come.

The Next Morning

Lawrence Ross Flowers and Molly Millender-Flowers

“Molly, It’s almost ten. I was about to wake you up. Just tell me who you were screwing around with. And it better not be Keith Collins—”

“Lawrence, please let me get my coffee, and we’ll talk, but I won’t reveal who I slept with; however, I can assure you it wasn’t Keith.”

“It wasn’t Keith? Then who the fuck was it? I have a right to know. I told you about Kate. Come on now, be fair.”

“Honey, I was stupid and flattered by the attentions of someone I only met once, and I have never considered a love interest. If I tell you, you will turn it into a personal assault on your honor, and it will blow up into something that will hurt us more than anyone else.”

“Fuck no! You’re being so unfair. We’re partners. You have to tell me.”

“Honey, please sit down. Please. I need desperately to have an important conversation with you.”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Thanks for sitting, Honey. First, the responsibility for the incident is on me, not my sex partner. I failed us, so be angry with me. I apologize for not telling you I slept with someone. There’s no excuse for that. But I won’t reveal something that will hurt us and others. Lawrence, there’s nothing I can do to undo what I did. I apologize again.”

“Shit, Molly, I told you about Kate. I mean, it’s just not fair.”

“Lawrence, you were attracted to Kate for a year before your affair, and you never told me about that.”

“But we didn’t do anything. We didn’t.”

“Honey, I understand that, but she was on your mind a great deal, and I think she still is. And you haven’t told me about that either.”

“Shit! I, I can’t help how I feel. I can’t just turn off my feelings.”

“I’m not asking you to. But honesty is a two-way street.”

“How was I supposed to tell you I was attracted to another woman? How the hell was I supposed to do that?”

“Lawrence, we have been married for nearly 28 years. I saw plenty of men I found attractive, but no one that was ever more than a daydream or two. I don’t know how I would have handled a serious attraction like you have for Kate. I hope I would have shared my problem with you, and you could have helped us work through it.”

“Yeah, sure you would have.”

“Honey, that’s not what I need to talk about. “I’m leaving you. I don’t think I’ll be back. I have to be my own person. I’m way overdue.”

“Oh, no. No. No. We’re a team. We build things together. Forget about Kate and your mystery man. I need you. I love you. We can work all this out. I promise.”

“Lawrence, we will work it out, but I must leave. I will leave, and I’ll still love you. You valued me for more than sex and companionship and helped me to value myself. I’ll always love you for that.”

No! No! No! Are you talking divorce? Is that what you want? Molly, I love you. I’ll do better. I’ll banish Kate from my mind. I—”

“Honey, please, it’s not about Kate. It’s about me being who I was meant to be. I don’t want to hurt you. I never want to do that, but I need to go.”

“Molly, I thought we were the perfect balance, you know? Love, careers, and everything we wanted.”

“Don’t cry, Honey. It’ll be all right. We were too good as partners. We were always fair, and we supported each other and loved each other so much. That’s why it has taken me so long to understand what I need as opposed to what we need.”

“Molly, Molly, I just need time. I need some time to think. Baby, this is an earthquake, a disaster.”

“I know, Honey. You have all the time you need. I do love you, Lawrence.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know. I need time, too.  I think the Tahoe house until I figure things out. Will that work for you?”

“Sure, of course. Anything you need. I just need—”

“We’ll keep the same business relationships and file joint taxes for this year.”

“You have thought about this, haven’t you?”

“All last night. I barely slept.”

“Me too. I barely slept.”

“Lawrence, I’m going to pack a few things. I have called my office and informed them I’ll be on vacation for two weeks.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going to go to work unless you need me to help you pack or something.”

“I’ll be fine. I love you, Lawrence.”

“Yeah, me too. I mean, I love you also. Molly, are you ever going to tell me who your one-night stand was?”

“Go to work, Lawrence.”

“Goodbye, Molly”

Six Months Later

Lawrence Ross Flowers

Shit! Shit! Shit! Molly has filed for divorce. I mean, she told me that she was, but it’s still a heck of a shock to me. I always thought in the back of my mind that we would get back together again. Wow, this is for real now.

I mean, I should have seen this coming three months ago when Molly encouraged me to contact Kate. And I did. Amazingly, there was nothing awkward between Kate and me. It was like we knew we would be back in contact. Kate’s going through a divorce and has an eight- and ten-year-old. Kate knows that I love kids and would have no problems helping her raise hers.

And it was three months ago that I bought out Molly’s interest in her investment firm. This was a whole new deal for me. I was an investment advisor, but now I had other people’s money to actually invest, and my livelihood depended on how well I did that. It has been a challenge, but I’m glad I accepted it.

The worst part of the deal was that I had to partner with that snake, Keith Collins. That was an issue I was not looking forward to. But Keith was surprisingly straightforward and helpful. He admitted that he has and will always have a thing for Molly and that she had no interest in  him as a sexual or romantic partner.

And check this out: he revealed who Molly had an affair with. Molly never confided in Keith, but Esau Rialto, the Coca-Cola CEO, sent presents to Molly at the office, and she never opened any of them. She had them returned to the sender.

And Rialto actually showed up at the office, and Molly met with that son of a bitch for less than five minutes and sent him packing. According to Keith, Rialto was one pissed-off billionaire when he stormed out of the office.

I haven’t told Molly I know who her one-night stand was. And now that the divorce is pending, it doesn’t even make sense to talk about it. I like to think that Rialto overpowered Molly with his money, charm, and status, but I know in my heart of hearts that Molly wanted that shit to happen.

And when I look back on it. I kind of believe that Molly really wanted Kate and me to hook up. And that idea scared me more than her sleeping with Rialto. I mean, at first, I thought Molly really didn’t love me at all. Shit! That rocked my foundation. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to believe that Molly does love me and just wants the best for me. This is the most appealing way I can look at this situation right now.

So, I’m just sitting here in my new office, holding these divorce papers, and thinking about all the things we had and all the things I will miss. And I don’t mean property and money so much as having a partner, having someone you can trust and love and who will love you back.

And I think about Kate and what might happen to us.

I’m at a crossroads. In the past, I would have talked this over with my best friend, my wife, and my lover.

But this time, I’m going to have to work this one out on my own. I think I need to understand better what happened between Molly and me before I get hitched again. And it’s a good thing that Kate and I take our time to get to know each other before we make any commitments.

I mean, all of this is happening way too quickly for me to be comfortable with. I need to figure out where I am going with the rest of my life.

Goddamn, I miss you, Molly.

Molly Millender-Flowers

I feel spectacular. For the first time in my adult life, I do not own a house, car, or credit card. I’m like a naked newborn entering the world.

Well, almost nude. I still have a few investments and checking and savings accounts. It may take me a few months to distribute these assets effectively and meaningfully.

And I still have my cell phone, which I dread parting with, but I will dispose of it soon enough.

I was going to retain enough money to pay for my divorce. However, Lawrence insists on paying for the entire cost. I can see my husband evolving into something entirely different than he is now or was six months ago. His mind works on other subjects, and he is questioning the purpose of his life. I suspect he is turning into a rather interesting person. I hope Kate will appreciate his evolution.

I have secured employment as a minimum wage night watchman for a Black-owned, rather exploitative business. Fort Knox Security employs mostly Latinx immigrants. There is growing anger and unrest at my work site. Workers are not being paid for overtime and sick leave, are being underpaid, and the payroll is often late. I was observing the unrest. I’m not sure what role I should play in any possible workers’ actions. But I will fully support their struggles against workplace abuse.

Last night at work, I was reading a story in the Oakland Tribune about Esau Rialto’s, pending marriage. There were pictures of  him and his fiancé. A coworker said that Rialto’s future bride looked a lot like me.

This morning, I received a call from Keith Collins informing me that Lawrence was doing an excellent job learning our investment operations and that Keith wanted to meet me for lunch.

“Why do you want to do lunch, Keith?”

“You know how I feel about you, Molly. I’m just making sure that you’re okay.”

“I’m in an excellent state of mind and health, and I appreciate your concern. However, I will not be available for lunch.”

“Molly, you might want to reconsider. There’s a package here for you from the Coca-Cola Company. I suspect it might be a wedding invitation, and I have several ideas about how we could use your connection with Esau—”

“Keith, I don’t have any connection with Esau. Please return the package and any other mail I should receive from Coca-Cola or Esau.”

I ended the call and removed the battery and SIM card from my phone.

I carried my bicycle downstairs from my room in the YWCA and started my three-mile ride to work. It was an exhilarating ride.

Eighteen Months Later

Molly Millender-Flowers

It’s been a year and a half, and I have come full circle. I did completely divest all my property and investments and most of my savings. I believed that unencumbered by those assets, I could be more authentic and find my true self. I thought if I struggled with financial adversity like many in our demographic do, I would be more in touch with real people. And see my authentic self emerge.

These were pitifully naive assumptions. For example, the situation at Fort Knox Security illustrated my faulty thinking.

I did become part of the protest against the unfair and fraudulent practices of Fort Knox. I planned to remain in the background and let the natural leaders continue in their roles. However, those leaders were, for the most part, unfamiliar with our labor laws. They were trying to gather the funds to hire an attorney to represent them in a suit against Fort Knox.

I helped them understand the law and file complaints with the state Department of Industrial Relations (DIR). This free administrative process resulted in the employees eventually receiving back wages.  More importantly, when the owners of Fort Knox received notice of the complaints from DIR, they improved their payroll practices in hopes of quickly selling the business.

My interventions undermined the former leaders and elevated me to a leadership role I was uncomfortable with. I departed Fort Knox a few weeks after the owners corrected their payment processes.

I don’t know if my participation did more harm than good to the labor organizers at Fort Knox. However, I realized masquerading as a poor or working-class person was not moving me to find my true self.

I was not poor. I had contacts, skills, and a proven track record that could instantly restore me to a seven-figure salary.

I returned to investing with my own boutique firm. I directed most of its profits to research and practices that reduce maternal mortalities among Black women, which are four to six times the rates for White women.

It is not a revolution, but it is life-saving work. I’m proud of it.

Lawrence and Keith send me the occasional client, as do other business associates.

I do have a cell phone, and I’m renting a furnished tract home. I don’t have a car, but I splurged on a new bicycle.

I’m not sure what’s transpiring with Lawrence and Kate.  I’m on good terms with them both, but our contact is decreasing.

My past has likely intruded on my present. An anonymous donor just contributed five million dollars to our research efforts. I will not attempt to return that donation.

I’m glad I took this journey to discover myself. It is a work in progress.

Lawrence Ross Flowers

Man, I love this investing game. It gives me a chill and a thrill to close out a big deal. And you know, I owe all this to Molly. I mean, she took that leap of faith and gave up everything to find herself. I don’t think I have that kind of courage.

But Kate does. We share a home, and we are a family, but we are marriage-shy for now. Kate wants to keep bees and live on a farm. She’s saving and learning and teaching me and the kids about bees.

I’m not sure the farm life is for me, but I love me some Kate and her kids. And I can work from anywhere.

I count myself lucky to have Kate and her kids and Molly in my life. I got so much good in my life that I feel ashamed to ask for anything else, but God, please don’t let me be allergic to bee stings.

* * * * THE END * * * *
Copyright Frederick K Foote 2023